A prayer for the designers of useless things.
“Heavenly father, I pray for all who design useless gifts,
These gifts of chrome and coloured glass, or distressed metal, or crescent moons and seahorses, furry lights with feet, stupid fat shiny toasters, or shitty little shaving kits,
Grant dear Father that before their time has come, each designer shall know the solemn lonely pain of trying to pass a footlong gold cherub with spread wings through the pink hornless squid beak of the bum arse.
This oh lord do I prey most solemnly”
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